Effective Communication In Marriage
‘Don’t go be bed angry.’ That advice is often touted by many experts and well-meaning friends, as the key to a successful marriage. However, I am not sure that this advice holds water, let along THE key to a happy marriage.
I have gone to bed, many a night, being angry. And in most cases this has given me the time and space to think about how to respond more effectively, than if I continued to express my frustration while getting more and more tired.
Even happy couples fight. And every couple can work at being more effective in communicating with their partner.
The key to effective problem solving is to recognize problems, communicate concerns early, and co-operate in resolving the conflicts. ‘Happy’ couples work on their problems together.
Effective Communication In Marriage Involves The Following:
- Being brief, direct, and clear.
- Be specific. If you don’t know how to ask for what you need, you are less likely to have your needs met.
- Making ‘I’ statements. ‘When you do…..I feel’ In this way you accept responsibility for your reaction and give feedback to your partner about how their actions affect you.
- Listening. Listen to details, provide feedback, and ask for clarification
- Not interrupting your partner when they are explaining their concerns. For a marriage to succeed, both spouses must be able to hear each other’s complaints without getting defensive.
- Negotiating – until everyone agrees.
- Keep Secrets – which eat away at couples by inhibiting open communication
- Be Accepting – all feelings are natural, but do expect partners to control their expression of these feelings
Practical Communication Tips for a Healthy Marriage:
- When you have a problem with your spouse, look in the mirror first! Look for how you might be contributing to things going poorly.
- It’s always easier to change your attitude or behavior than it is to change your spouse.
- Most married people crave more appreciation than they receive from their partners. Tell your spouse what you like and admire about her or him; these words will go a long way.
- Listen to what your partner is saying, even if the way it is said bothers you.
- Give them your full attention.
Effective communication in marriage is one of the top skills couples can learn to improve their relationship. Remember that all couples will have problems; it’s how you handle them that determines your happiness in your marriage.
Beverly’s Hot Tip For Building Resiliency and Celebrating Happy Marriage Day:
Celebrate your marriage.
Celebrate each other.
Show your appreciation – My love, friendship and devotion goes out to my husband, Rodger, who holds me together when life gets tough and who celebrates at my side through our triumphs. xxoo
If you have some strategies to share – comment on this posting!